


Be gay, do crime. But also shut the fuck up.

by orphan_account



Category: DanPlan, Video Blogging RPF, actuallyoddplan
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Fluff, I don't know how to write period, Jay being classic Jay, M/M, Not Beta Read, Stephen is probably on his period, Tags Are Hard, The title sums it all, They killed someone off-screen, i don't know how to write romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23314756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Our favourite psycho/sociopaths go chill after murdering someone!
Relationships: Jay Ko/Stephen Ng
Comments: 5
Kudos: 85





	Be gay, do crime. But also shut the fuck up.

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this because of an insta prompt, lolz

Jay stared at the sea in awe, admiring how the moon emitted enough light for him to perceive his surroundings, but not enough to see what's hidden in the depths of the ocean.

He leaned on the side of the boat, sinking his hand into the water until his fingers were fully immersed. His shoulders relaxed once he felt his sins washing away in the cold water.

"Isn't this relaxing?" He muttered, moving his hand a bit to form little waves.

"Jay, we're sitting on a boat, in the middle of the ocean."

He glanced at the other man, giving a confused look when he was met with golden irises staring deep into his soul. "What about it, Stephen?"

Stephen pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration before speaking again. "We just dumped the body, don't you think we should get the fuck out of here?"

Jay pulled his hand away from the water and sat in a more comfortable position for his back. He put his hands on his lap, and even though the droplets remaining on his fingers were staining his shirt, he didn't mind. "Why don't you relax a bit, this is a date after all."

"Yeah, a 'murder date' as you call it. I don't see how chopping a dead body would be relaxing, though."

"Oh, don't you have fun seeing the life drain out of our victims' eyes, their irises slowly being filled with the terror of death?" Jay tilted his head in confusion. The answer must've been no, given how tense Stephen's shoulders seemed to be at the moment.

"Uh, not really. I only kill people for personal revenge."

"Last week we literally killed a dude just cuz he cut you off in line at the supermarket."

Stephen exploded with rage. "How dare you insinuate that doing that doesn't make you a complete asshole the world needs to get rid of? Unacceptable!" He tilted his head to the side, purposefully avoiding Jay.

Jay, on the other hand, exploded with laughter at the sudden outburst. "Aww, adorable."

Stephen only scoffed in reply, leaving Jay to carry on the conversation. "Well, if you really want to have some fun, why don't we go back to your place? No sex of course, but I'd love to keep you company."

A few hours have passed, and Jay was now sinking into Stephen's incredibly comfortable couch. Stephen sat down next him, leaning against his body. "I never gave you permission to make yourself at home, asshole."

"But you know this is already my second house!" Jay then proceeded to ruffle Stephen's hair, who leaned his head against the other's shoulder in response, making the ruffling easier.

"Yeah but, rude." 

Stephen then reached towards his TV's remote, turning the TV on and flipping through some channels. "So, what do you wanna watch? You're free to pick as long as it's not anything horror."

Jay looked at the TV, humming as he wondered what he should pick. "Well…"

He picked something horror.

Despite what he said earlier, Stephen still put the show on, but he made his disappointment very clear by his facial expression.

The other wanted to feel less of an ass for intentionally picking something his boyfriend wouldn't like, and he intended to do so by turning the cheap production and jumpscares of the show into jokes. 

It didn't work at first, but after he joked about the main monster of the show looking like his grandmother wherever she mentioned anything LGBTQ+, Stephen started wheezing. Hard.

Jay didn't understand how anything humorous could ever come out of his mouth, and he felt even more confused as he began to worry about wherever or not he should call 911 on his poor Stephen, who was holding his stomach tightly as a desperate way to compose himself from his laughter.

After his laughing was over, Stephen took a few deep breaths before turning off the TV. "Ok, enough dying for today, we're going to sleep." 

Jay pouted, and Stephen looked at him with an unamused expression. "I'm not going to let you be sleep-deprivated on my watch. Anyways, get up, I have to do something."  
Jay got up, looking at his boyfriend weirdly pushing the couch, until it unfoulded into a bed. 

"Ta-dà! My bed is too small so we gotta sleep on this. Have fun putting on the sheets while I get changed." Stephen then handed Jay a bedcover, two pillows and a blanket, and disappeared in his bedroom.

Jay, being the good boyfriend he is, obediently prepared the bed so they could comfortably sleep, but before he could place the blanket on top of it all, he got hit by a pile of clothes.

Jay grabbed the pile and turned towards Stephen. "Hey, what was that for?!"

"Those are your pajamas, idiot. Now go get changed."

Jay rested the pajamas on the bed, smirking at Stephen. "Oh, maybe you didn't know, but I like to sleep all natural~"

He winked as Stephen stared at him in confusion, but the tips of his hair started turning blue after the realization. "G- gah- no! Stop making sex innuendos and go get changed!"

"That wasn't a sex innuendo, but if you want me to say one-"

He got interrupted by Stephen shoving the clothes in Jay's arms. "No, shut up."

Jay nodded and actually went to put his pyjamas on.

After changing, Jay returned to the living room only to find it completely dark, and Stephen was already laying on the bed drifting to sleep. Jay climbed in and covered the both of them with the blanket.

"Goodnight", Stephen muttered, squishing his body against Jay's and resting his head on his chest.

"Hold on, I can't fall asleep if I don't get bored by television, so…"

Stephen groaned as he reached for the remote, handing it to Jay. "Ok, just don't make the volume too loud."

Jay cheered with excitement as he turned the tv on, already knowing which programme would bore him quicker: the news.

He watched for a while, until the tv displayed a picture of the lake they've been on a few hours prior.

"The body of a young man got discovered a few hours ago in ***'s lake. His identity is unknown as all of his hair, teeth and fingers got cut off. The police is currently in the middle of the investigation, but it was already made clear that the culprit is the famous Unknown Killer."

Jay sighed, letting the programme be background noise for now. "Damn, these policeman sure work fast."

Stephen only hummed in response.

"Also, it's kinda funny how they think we are the same killer. Like, you make the body unrecognizable by cutting everything off, while I do it by burning everything! It's very different! And also-

Jay got cut off once again, but this time, he was happy about it. His lips got shut when they felt something pressing against them, or in other words, Stephen kissed him to shut him up.

After that, Stephen went back on laying his head on Jay's chest as if nothing happened, widely smiling as he could hear Jay's heartbeat getting quicker by the second.

Jay wrapped his arms around the other, his shock slowing his movements. "Did you really kiss me for the first time to make me shut the fuck up?"

"Yeah, but if you don't shut up now, I won't give you another kiss in the morning."

"But… what if I couldn't go to sleep without receiving a second one?"

Jay smirked as Stephen lifted his head to reveal his annoyed expression, but his smirk dropped down once he saw Stephen leaning towards him, making him close his eyes.

His lips got in contact with Stephen's softer ones again, and Jay trailed his arms from the other's spine to the back of his head, holding him in place to make the kiss last longer.

A few seconds later, Stephen pulled away, a smile gracing his face. "Are you happy now?"

"Yeah, I am very happy."

"Good."

Stephen returned to his sleeping position, reciprocating Jay's hug, and that's how they fell asleep in each other's arms after their first ever kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was really nervous about posting this,,,, my beta-reading slave aka my dearest friend whom I love so much didn't proof-read this, and I suck at writing romance so I apologize if this sucks.


End file.
